


Her Recommitment

by AKhaos



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Apologies, Established Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, Guilt, Some Fluff, shumako
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKhaos/pseuds/AKhaos
Summary: **Major Spoilers for Persona 5 Royal**Having shed the false reality created by Dr. Maruki for the Phantom Thieves, Makoto comes to understand just what Ren had to sacrifice to defy this alternate reality. She feels guilt for having given in so easily to her internal desires, practically disavowing everything that has led her up to this point. However, something that the Persona-wielding Palace Ruler mentioned has also been eating at her, making her reconsider many things she thought she knew about her leader and partner. Gathering the will to confront this obstacle, she invites him for the first time to her room, where they have much to talk about.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 12
Kudos: 92





	1. Admission of Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story that I've ever posted on AO3, which I suppose is the perfect time since Persona 5 Royal is now behind us!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

"...I'm sorry for calling you over so suddenly."

Even she could tell that was a meek way of starting them off. She commanded an incredible amount of authority and confidence in the Metaverse, manifesting her Queen caricature and Anat to take full control of any situation. Yet in the real world she faced moments like this, exhibiting behavior similar to a child and skirting around the issue. If the discrepancy bothered her sudden guest, he didn't show it, thankfully. He usually never did.

On the other hand, that made him very hard to read sometimes. Makoto had come to value Ren's opinions highly within the last year, for both professional and personal reasons. Whether it be she sought confirmation, advice, or the occasional indulgence of praise, he gratified her.

What was he thinking right now? Did he like her room? The way she organized it? His eyes didn't tell her much, frustratingly enough. Perhaps he was being polite and opted to keep any opinions to himself. It wasn't like Makoto's room was anything special. Ann's room, on the other hand, was brimming with far more personality than Makoto could ever hope for hers. She'd hung out at Ann's house multiple times over the year and that girl had a way of fitting all the parts of her that were great into that small slice of reality. Ann's happiness, her passion for modeling, her vibrant personality, her love of pretty things; it was all lovingly compacted into that one little room.

Meanwhile, Makoto's room was... a room. Embarrassingly enough, and she was thankful that he'd not made a teasing comment on it, her love for all things orderly and Buchimaru-kun was made apparent. The plush merchandise in her glass cabinet, the meticulously written sticky notes hanging lazily over her desk, and other embarrassing things. Otherwise, very utilitarian.

And... Oh God, he was sitting on her bed, too. The one with the splotch patterned comforter that was reminiscent of her beary friend's fur...Who was also sitting on her bed with that infuriatingly cute face, staring off innocently next to her boyfriend. Her hand twitched from her desire to place it (gently) on the floor. Still, it was only courteous that she give up the most comfortable spot in the room. He was the guest. Sis always said that you could never go wrong with the little lessons in etiquette. That applied to relationships too, right? Even when a girl invites a boy she likes to her room...?

She sighed quietly. He didn't say anything, his eyes quickly taking in his surroundings while sitting casually. Any impression of maturity that she may have given off has surely disappeared from Ren's mind now. And it was all due to the reason behind her stupid request to speak with him in private.

Makoto mentally chided herself. She really needed to get her mind in order! The arguably terrible first impressions of her room aside, she had called him here for a very important reason. And it was all the more infuriating to her, trying her best not to look away from him in sheepishness, that it wasn't for something intimate or casual.

Well, it was intimate, just not in the way she wanted, at all. He surely knew what the problem was by now. Behind that gentle smile, the edges of his lips pulled into that signature grin of amusement, was a serious look in his eyes when he looked back at her.

Thankfully his resolve instilled some courage in her. The courage she thought she already integrated. The courage that kept him steadfast in the wake of this fake reality. The one she was still coming to terms with, and the subject of her most recent shame.

She could scarcely forgive herself for it. To think that their once worst enemy was more determined to help the boy she... l-loved than she was.

* * *

**_01/8 | Shibuya Station | Afternoon_ **

_"Ooh, I just had an idea. Ren, would you like to come and join us for dinner tonight?"_

_He didn't verbally respond, but Makoto could see the gears turning in his head at her request. Beneath his usual stoicism she noticed the little bit of nervousness emanating from him. It took her a long time to pick up on such subtle cues, but the way he would usually fidget with his hands in his pockets and the way his eyes tended towards something else away from you were small giveaways. Makoto was pleased to see her admittedly innocent invitation had that kind of effect on him._

_She would be taking more pride in her juvenile victory if they were alone. But alas, siblings._

_Her sister turned away from our surprise visitor to give the brown-haired girl a chiding look. "Makoto, didn't it occur to you that he might have plans already?" She reminded, but Makoto could see the barest hint of a tease pulling on her lips._

_"I'm surprised at your boldness, though." she continued. Makoto couldn't help but beam slightly at the rare(?) praise. Sae shook her head, a rare grin adorning her face. "Look at you, Little Miss Outgoing. I don't think you've ever invited any of your friends over to our place so brazenly before."_

_Makoto couldn't stop the heat from creeping up into her cheeks. If only Sae knew... True, she was feeling a little more confident in doing such things openly, especially compared to last year... when..._

_Well, it wasn't that big of a deal._

_Her sister seemed to ponder something for a second. She briefly had that look in her eye that struck nervousness into any rival lawyer opposing her, a sign of their impending doom. It would've seriously worried Makoto had it not lasted more than a second, until she spoke again._

_"But I am curious." Sae leaned against the subway pillar, looking at her boyfriend with inquisitive eyes. "Out of all of your friends, you want to invite Ren-kun? You can surely guess the thoughts that will go through Dad's mind when he finds out." She said in her usual analytical tone._

_It was apparently her doom that was being spelled out more than Ren's._

_"T-that's not what I was implying!" She breathed out harshly. She fumbled with her purse for a second before calming down again. Sis always had a surefire method of breaking her composure. "Surely he wouldn't mind meeting one of the people who has had such a huge impact on me, right? Besides, the work of the Phantom Thieves is precisely the type of change Dad has always said he wants to see in the world, so it wouldn't be imprudent for a guest like Ren to attend his award celebration right?"_

_Sae waved her hand conversationally. "True," she turned to look at Ren again. He still hasn't said anything, she noticed. That seriousness behind his gentle smile still affected Makoto to this day. It was nostalgic in all the ways she couldn't name._

_"Then again..." Makoto sighed. "I still haven't decided what I should prepare for dinner yet. And inviting someone who Dad's never even met yet on such short notice could be taken the wrong way." Makoto looked at her boyfriend apologetically. "It wouldn't be fair to invite you over for a family meal without knowing what to expect. Forgive me."_

_"That reminds me," Sae added. She cupped her chin questioningly. "I'm still wondering what has kept you from formally introducing your friends to us, Makoto." She leaned her hand against her hip. "I know Ren-kun reasonably well at this point, but I was surprised when you finally caved about your involvement only recently."_

_Makoto scrunched her eyebrows at the floor for a moment before looking back at her sister. "I suppose... I didn't feel ready to share that with you and Dad yet, Sis. I mean, you would have surely thought of them as a strange bunch. It would've been a complicated affair to open up about, especially before our big operation."_

_Sae didn't look like she quite believed that defense, but seemed to opt for letting her sister off the hook. To be honest, Makoto felt more hesitation from her irrational fear of her father meeting Ren._

_Sae hummed to herself. "Fair enough." She fixed her boyfriend with another stare. "Still, I would never have guessed at the time that the timid coffee house resident was a Phantom Thief." She shook her head wryly. "For a while, Dad and I didn't know_ what _to think of the Phantom Thieves; a real cultural enigma, you know."_

_"Oh?" Ren perked up in interest, his arms slouching into his jacket pockets, appearing normal._

_Sae hummed, trying to ignore the chill in the air by sticking her free hand in her long coat. "Makoto took the most initial interest in our household. You know how it is when making first judgement. Varying opinions sweep the room, and the people exchange their thoughts on the good and the bad, the righteous and the dangerous. For heaven's sake, I don't remember the last time our house was swept by such a passionate debate..." Sae rested her hand on her temple, shaking her head. "Makoto probably already told you this, but after Madarame confessed his crimes on international television, Dad initially sided with Akechi-kun's opinion that the Phantom Thieves be tried in court. Makoto originally agreed with him."_

_Much to Makoto's surprise, Ren's casual demeanor quickly shifted into tense. He removed his hands from his gray jacket pockets and stared at her with worry, his eyes streaming over to Makoto's. She couldn't tell exactly what emotion was behind the glasses._

_Makoto flinched somewhat, staring at him worriedly. She glanced at her sister, who's easygoing aura turned slightly suspicious. Did she say something surprising? She told him months ago. It just sort of slipped out when they were talking about helping Eiko from... saving her from that guy who... Huh. Eiko Takao was her classmate, right? No, they were just the same grade... Ugh, she could think about this later. This wasn't new information to Ren._

_Come to think of it, Ren's behavior had been worrying her lately. The initial guilt she felt over not inviting him for a fun night together on New Year's was supplanted by her suspicions over his sudden reclusive behavior. She took on the role of Adviser for the Phantom Thieves with what she thought was gusto, and took great strides to fulfill that role to the team's needs. So it was only natural she prided herself on noticing things that weren't quite right. Was there something bothering her boyfriend?_

_Sae must've been thinking the same thing. "Is something the matter? I assumed Makoto had already informed you of this."_

_After a moment, he relaxed again, going back to his relaxed stance. "...Yeah, sorry. I guess I... kind of got blindsided, remembering she was totally against m-us, at one point."_

_She shook her head and took on a more assuring tone. "Keep in mind, any distrust I had of you is in the past now. Same with our father. I told you this before, when she came to me about Shido, that I support your efforts as heroes of Justice, if only unofficially. Exposing Shido and his Party's conspiracy only strengthened that belief. You've already won me over." She glanced up at the subway ceiling. "Dad has always possessed a simple-spirited belief of justice, and I guess that rubbed off on me, so it was no surprise we took a liking to your group." Sae tightened her grip on her handbag, her stare closer resembling a Valkyrie warrior than a prosecutor. "Gangs like Kaneshiro's were a cancer upon Shibuya, and I suppose I've come to accept that you need some help from the underside to get rid of such evils. We all changed our tunes, and good thing, too. When the offer came to my desk to expand my investigation to the Phantom Thieves, who knows if I'd have accepted it before."_

_What a worrying prospect. Her mind jumping from her strange boyfriend to her steadfast sister, Makoto fidgeted on her feet. She didn't know why she was so nervous. Such a thing didn't happen. "Thank God you didn't. I don't think I could stand fighting you, Sis." Her fingers drummed anxiously against her handbag. That was one of her most deep-seated worries since she first joined the Phantom Thieves._

_The woman appeared amused rather than offended. Laughing lightly, she rested her hand on the top of her head and gently ruffled the hair behind Makoto's headband. Makoto's voice squeaked slightly in protest, shaking around on her feet and surprised at her older sister's action, especially out in public._

_It must have been a genetic quality in older sisters, Makoto thought glumly. Sae had done this less and less over the years for obvious reasons, but apparently even maturity. Still, she couldn't say she didn't appreciate the occasional burst of affection from the otherwise aloof prosecutor. But still, why did it have to be in front of her boyfriend?!_

_She was too busy forcing her sister's hand away from her to see it, but the chuckle that rose out of Ren's throat did catch her attention._

_It was... unusual to hear from him. He was usually so composed most of the time. But she had been witness to a few times when the team's antics or an event so absurd came up that even he had to let out his glee. Not the amusement he'd derive from getting all those one-ups on her. No, those came up frequently, she learned._

_Still, the way the laughter was pulled out of him didn't sound quite right. Glancing at him, he was already regaining his composure. The laugh sounded like it was intended to come out like a bark, but come out as an airy wheeze. He was looking at the tile floor and shook his head slowly. It almost looked... sad?_

_Finally deciding that enough was enough, Sae relented. "Silly girl." She said. "Family comes first, remember? You know I'd never jeopardize that, Makoto."_

_"Well, it looks like you two are getting along just fine then. Actually, more than getting along. You're practically beaming."_

_Makoto and Sae turned their attention back to their surprise guest. He seemed positively mirthful, smirking at them. God, why was he finding this so funny...?_

_"I apologize, Ren-kun. I didn't mean to ignore you like that." Sae said._

_Ren shook his head. "Nah, it's fine Sae-san. It's good I caught you two when I did, though." Although the response was to Sae, Makoto could feel from Ren's eyes that what he said was meant for her.  
_

_"Is something the matter Ren?" She asked. "Did something come up for the Phantom Thieves?" She asked quietly. Perhaps she still felt some lingering paranoia from last year. After all, both she and Akechi-kun deduced the Phantom Thieves' identities because of their apathetic_ _conspicuousness at times._

_Ren shook his head. He turned to face Makoto directly. "Not today. My simple desire was to see you._ That's all."

Simple desire? What could he...? Why is he phrasing it like that?

 _Makoto had been ignoring it up until now, but ever since New Year's she had been experiencing these short headache episodes. She thinks they started popping up when they met Ren and Yoshizawa-san at the shrine. The headaches were off and on, and aspirin didn't have an effect on it. Makoto reasoned that some external stimulus was causing it. It didn't sound so_ _far fetched, but then she had to wonder what was causing it? She hadn't found any notable points of correlation between the episodes, at least, none that made sense. It was frustrating to her, since it was such a mundane issue. They didn't hurt much... it was like a nagging pressure point against the inside of her skull. No physical or mental pain, but it had an unmistakable_ presence _when it did flare up._

_Makoto winced slightly and and rubbed the hair covering her temple. She shook her head. Now wasn't the time to be worrying about that. Ren was just trying to make conversation, that was all. They hadn't spoken for over a week now, so maybe he was just trying to secretly tell her he wanted to spend some time together. Unfortunately, if she picked that up..._

_Sae "hmmed" to herself. "I wonder how well you and our father would get along, Ren-kun. He followed along with the news quite extensively since last April, and the exploits of the Phantom Thieves were a common topic in our home. He especially found himself interested in the_ character _of its members. After all, if Makoto were regularly spending time with such people, he'd want to be sure that_ they're a good fit for her." _She recounted. Sae rested her fingers against her chin and fixed Ren with a stare that worried Makoto._

_"Sis..." Makoto drawled, embarrassed. She picked up on that with lightning speed. Still, Ren definitely could've worded that better. They still hadn't told her sister about their relationship yet, for obvious reasons. Not only was their group tied up with Shido, but such a reveal wouldn't serve a purpose beyond her and Ren's gratification. And of course, much to Makoto's chagrin sometimes, Sae was very protective of her only sibling. But, that was over now. She'd wanted to tell her older sister about them since Christmas, but for some reason Ren wasn't up for it, even now apparently. She had a hard time understanding, since her sister was so dependable. She was... a little scary, but she already said she liked him. The two of them had gotten along well for months now!_

_But now it was like he was trying to prove something. She mentally sighed. He could be quite confrontational at the oddest of times, and she didn't always know how to feel about that. Ren, however, didn't look as intimidated as she'd have expected. Sure, the little signs of caution were in his body language, she noticed, but he looked almost ready for it._

_"If I ever got the opportunity to meet him, I'd gladly do so." Ren said with a tight smile. "And character, huh? I guess that must've been a huge worry when it was let out that Makoto was one of us. Good to know you and Niijima-san are looking out for her."_

_Sae's eyes softened. A little bit. "Makoto has always been a worry for Dad. He knew that if she ever got the chance to jump into the action, to serve justice to those who were guilty, she'd take it, with eager reproach."_

_Makoto was now wondering whether she should've gone to get groceries by herself..._

_"Yep, that sounds like her." Ren said with a bit too much knowing._

Yep, definitely should've gone alone, _she concluded._

_"Still, that was always something I admired about her." Makoto drew herself back to reality. Ren was staring at her, standing with that casual grace, but with an almost... intimate look in his eye. Like it was trying to say something more meaningful than what she could see. "You Sae-san, and your father. Makoto, do you remember last Summer when you first joined us? I didn't fully get what was driving you at the time, but it definitely involved your sister and dad, right?"_

_Makoto couldn't keep the flush on her cheek as she scoured her mind for a quick answer. Ren had never been bold about the two of them in the company of others before... Well, except when he acted so nonplussed at the Sakura residence back before break when... when they needed to talk to Ali-Futaba! When they needed to talk to Futaba for..._

_There was a blank. When they needed to... but they'd already dealt with Medjed already. Or the fake one... Was she getting her dates wrong?!_

_Dammit, she needed to say something! "Um, uh, yeah. I guess you could say that." Her sister already knew the tale it this point, so it was kind of redundant, but if he was asking... "Dad has told me all sorts of stories about criminal gangs. Sis is also a great Prosecutor who uses the law to put such people away. It only makes sense that I'd want to contribute."_

_"But... there was more to it than that, right?" Ren asked knowingly, hopefully. "I know you, Makoto. Your personal sense of justice means a lot to you, too." He stopped for a second, and a familiar grin of approval adorned his features. "If I remember right, that's a big part of your dream. You want to head an organization..." He lead on._

_**"...that will destroy the lawless and help rescue victims."** Makoto's eyes widened slightly, holding her hand over her heart. She could feel the resonance there still. Her Persona, Anat. The piece of her that represented her willpower in the Metaverse manifested. And the one that gave her the strength to enact her justice. "Mm-hmm." She nodded. "That's right. Dad and Sis were of course a huge part of it, but being witness to people suffering under such lowlifes was the trigger. It motivated me... to go out and learn about such detestable criminals. The ones operating with impunity, taking advantage of unsuspecting innocents. Lonely women, depressed high school students, anyone they could get their slimy hands on... Drugs, alcohol, extortion, even death and slavery aren't below such degenerates, they'll use any method..."_

_"Makoto..." Sae looked at her younger sister with sadness, like she wanted to take away the pain of knowing such things._

_"But!" Makoto clenched her teeth slightly. The things her father told her as a little girl rang true even today! "I couldn't stand the thought of those things happening around me! Seeing my fellow students suffering like that. "How could a school administration allow such injustices to pass uninvestigated? Protocols for protecting the weak and vulnerable ignored?!" Those were the questions that were ringing in my mind." She could feel her temper flaring just thinking about such things! She knew getting all worked up like this wasn't helping anybody, though. She threw her arm out to release some of her pent up energy. "I couldn't stand idly by while the adults sat cozy on their little securities and left the problem to fester, left victims to suffer!."_

_She shook her head in disgust. "Of course, I turned to the Phantom Thieves, who I considered my last hope. Getting you guys to help wasn't easy, but it was all worth it for the chance to take action against them. When Kaneshiro said those things about Sis, I..."_

" **Your sister is quite a beauty though. I'll make sure to make her my personal slave."**

Wait... Did, did he say that? When push came to shove, and action was needed, I-

_The presence in her head was even stronger now. She rubbed her head again, eyes scrunched in genuine confusion._

_"Wait, what?!" Sae exclaimed. "He referred to me specifically when you confronted him? You didn't tell me that, Makoto..." Sae breathed warily, wondering why she left out such an important detail._

**"You cant be _that_ useless." ** _An ugly thought reverberated._

_Okay, she_ knew _she never heard that one before. But, the spirit behind it..._

_Was she...? Was her memory splitting? Was this the trigger for that confusing headache? Yes, she felt a personal responsibility to deal with Kaneshiro and his mafia gang, but she was never pressured into it, right? Kobayakawa, she knew, had a vested interest in stamping out all things that would tarnish the school's, and in actuality, his reputation, including the Phantom Thieves and the mafia. When he called her into his office for the first time, she felt personally responsible for determining the motives of the then mythical Phantom Thieves. But when he decided to put blackmail and character defamation on the table, she knew not to fall for his manipulation... Right? But, there was pressure on her to succeed?  
_

_Pressure... Rumors... Enemies on all sides... Friends. Acceptance._

**"But, I'll be okay... I finally found a place where I can belong."** _Her voice._

_While all of this mental legwork was occurring, Ren still stood there patiently, rigid. The smile that was there previously was gone, replaced with something a bit more grim, and unlike anything she'd seen from in private with him. Did he know...? But, that was impossible._

_Another_ pang _hit in her head, and this time she felt compelled to press her hand against her temple. "Aauugh..." She groaned, trying to keep her voice from rising more than it already had. She stumbled to the side, trying to keep her footwork steady. A few passing commuters looked their way, but quickly carried on blissfully._

_"Makoto!" Sae dropped her hand bag to the floor and prepared to catch her sister lest she fall. Makoto raised her hand, dissuading the worry, if only slightly. Sae sized her up worryingly, but relaxed her posture._

_With the presence in her mind back full force, she straightened herself back out, leaning against the pillar. She took a deep breath, looking back to Ren with confusion._

_"I-I'm sorry about that... I don't know what came over me..." She said._

_"It's okay," he replied, worry weaved in his voice. She couldn't help but feel worried about him in turn, wondering what he knew. Her head was starting to hurt, but in her mind she could practically feel the bond between the two of them gleaming. The grim look in his eye was still present, despite a small smile gracing being there to try to cover it. She could feel his concern for her, but he seemed almost resigned. She wanted to give this more thought, but..._

_"Ren, I uh, I'm sorry to cut this short, but..." Makoto said shakily. She didn't know what was going on, or if her boyfriend knew something about all this, and she kind of didn't care because this thing was filling her mind. It was all encompassing, as if every other thing was a distraction that could wait until it was addressed. "W-we really need to get back to shopping. Maybe I'll feel better after dinner. I-I'll tell Dad you said hello." Her eyes darted toward the direction of the line they needed to take. She didn't see him flinch._

_"...It was good to see you Ren-kun." Sae said solemnly. "Perhaps we can talk again later." Any previous suspicions on her mind were vanished, replaced with concern for whatever ailment had afflicted her sister._

_He nodded. Before Makoto could hastily start walking to their destination, Ren quickly came to her side, opposite of Sae, and whispered, "You're so close, Mako. Come talk to me when you're ready..."_

_Makoto's breath hitched, hearing him call her by the affectionate nickname he gave her, and also confirming that he..._

_Makoto nodded shakily, eyes unfocused towards the direction she needed to go. She felt that saying anything more would be a waste, and not sufficient to come close to conveying her thoughts and feelings to him. She started walking and didn't look back. Sae quickly picked up the pace, silently pondering this vast influence that was making this day so weird..._

* * *

_**01/17 | Niijima Residence | After School** _

"I like your room."

Okay, it looked like he wasn't going to keep his opinions to himself.

So, this is what Ren was referring to back then. Thinking back on it, it was incredibly obvious that his intentions were anything but casual when they met in the subway. If Ren wanted to spend time with her purely for the sake of company, he'd make that clear. And what was he supposed to say, she realized. In that phony timeline, the one filled with false memories Dr. Maruki had implanted, she talked about her father endlessly, citing examples of how his personal justice influenced her own beliefs, how the Phantom Thieves could learn from his example, and how things were going back home. He probably wasn't very comfortable trying to wing a conversation without knowing how much he _should've known._ That would come across as too suspicious, she realized.

She definitely put this talk off for long enough, though.

Makoto brushed the hair behind her ear. They were stray strands, right? "I um, appreciate the compliment, but I know it's not much."

He smirked. "But it's yours, so that's all that matters."

The air escaped from her mouth and nose before she could stop it. That was so... "What...?" She couldn't help the snort that came out, no matter how unladylike it was, as well as the airy laugh that came right after than. "W-was that supposed to be another one of your flirting attempts?" She asked, with a few giggles mixed in.

"I have no idea what you're insinuating my dear. If this room is yours, then it's already got everything it needs."

She shook her head, trying and failing to keep a little grin off her face. Damn his flirtatious nature. Sometimes. "You really need to work on those lines in your spare time, Ren. Winging it doesn't look like it works quite as well in the real world." She said out fake haughtily.

"Aw, but I can name everything important to you in here at first glance. That should tell you how special it is." He tentatively picked up the stuffed toy bear next to him. "For example," he said, putting it on theatric display. "Resting in my hand is a treasured item of her ladyship Makoto, a premium-cared-for Buchimaru-kun stuffed merchandise! Inspecting it more thoroughly tells me..." He began turning the stuffed friend around in his hand, obviously taking everything of its being into mind. "It's been acquired recently. The tag is still on the bottom. Looks like someone reignited your love for such things." He grinned cheekily.

Makoto hung her head and let out a drawled sigh. He was committed to the act at this point. When he was in one of these moods, it was best to let him get it out of his system.

He then pointed behind her. "And over there, to your right, is an easily recognizable Buchimaru set on display in your cabinet. Pristine and well presented, I'd be willing to bet you take excellent care cleaning it on a regular basis."

...She was not even going to respond to his obviously... dead-on observation.

...They collected dust in those shelves so easily, it was only natural she take responsibility for their health.

"And your work space is filled to the brim with all sorts of tomes and academic books, with their own unique sticky notes." He wore a studious gaze upon looking at her, as if making an astute observation. "A reminiscent artifact of the robo-Makoto period when school and college were all that was on your mind."

Makoto fully glared at him for the robot remark.

He held her very pointed gaze for three seconds tops before looking away with mild sheepishness. Shaking his head, he looked back up and she was surprised to see his tender gaze. "I look upon the landscape of your room and think... Yeah, this is definitely where my Mako lives. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Okay, that just wasn't fair...

Dropping the glare, Makoto let her eyes rest on the carpet, drawing into herself a little bit more in her chair. How could he be acting so positively right now...? No, she knows. She could tell what he was doing. It was a classic case of social psychology that she may or may not have picked up in a book somewhere when researching relationships. The scenario goes something like this: A couple has a serious talk coming up that heavily involves their relationship, and one of the couple uses humor and downplaying to make the task seem less intimidating. A technique commonly used to minimum the risk of an argument blowing out between the two, since they're more likely to be in a positive mood, as well as relieve any tension built up before.

When she read about the subject, unsurprisingly he was the first person to appear in her mind. He's always been like that. She wouldn't say he always knew the right thing to say, or that his tact always matched his charm or wit, but he'd never fail to say what was on his mind in the most supportive way he knew how. Ann and Ryuji remarked that he wasn't quite like that when they met him, but by the time she joined, that part of him was integral; you couldn't separate _supportive_ from _Ren._ To be honest, when she first started spending time with him, casually, and not nipping at his heel (she chewed out Ryuji for describing her that way after following them to Kichijoji), a small part of her assumed that he took their first outing together as a date... She was happy to find out later that he did harbor such feelings, but apparently he was just that accommodating for everybody.

Seeing him try so hard to bring that lightheartedness into their talk now was quite touching.

...She appreciated it, truly.

But, she couldn't keep relying on that.

 _I can't be so weak that he has to make light of all this. I... hurt him._ With that resolve in mind, she nodded to herself, facing Ren with the strength of heart she hadn't felt since before entering this strange reality. She crossed her arms, unable to keep the sorrow blooming in her heart off her face. "I called you here because I wanted to apologize." There, she said it.

Ren's easygoing aura fell flat upon her admission. His warm smile faded away. "O-Oh." He looked uncomfortable. He lifted his right leg and rested it on the other. After a few seconds, he met her gaze again. "It doesn't seem like there's much to say sorry for, you know..."

Even though the nervousness of having broken the ice was making her hands feel clammy, and she felt the urge to put this entire affair aside and just forget about it, sit next to him, and kiss him, Makoto knew she could not run away from this. It would be undignified and wholly disrespectful to him. "When it comes to betraying your trust, Ren, there is absolutely everything I need to say sorry for." She said, deadly serious.

"Whoa, that's..." Ren's eyebrows disappeared behind his messy locks. "You're not the one who betrayed anybody." He shook his head.

"You say that, but that's not really true." Makoto bent and touched her knees together. She looked at the bed in thought. "Everything's come back to me. I remember it all, the fake and the real. You know that already. All the words you spoke to me in front of Sis, the ones I didn't get at the time, they finally rung true when I was with everybody. I remembered everything all at once, and it was like the veil was taken off and I could see again. What you said reminded me of the promise I made to myself." She closed her eyes. _"I don't need to rely on the false praise of those I thought were above me anymore. The adults who used me. I'm done being their tool. I have a new place of belonging now, and I will never falter on my beliefs again."_ She reopened them. "That promise I had sworn myself to echoed constantly in my thoughts, grounding me when facing all challenges that came the Phantom Thieves' way, from when we were at our height, to our descent to the depths."

"I thought that my time spent doing all of those things, in the name of justice, in the hopes that we were making a brighter tomorrow, would eliminate all of those weaknesses. The things I couldn't stand looking at myself with. But I guess that was wrong for me to assume." She shook her head sadly, scrunching her one eye open in shame. "I really made a fool of myself, huh? In truth, I haven't changed at all."

"That is not true and you know it." Ren had enough and leaned away from the bed he was sitting on, placing his warm hand against her cheek. He used his other hand to pull the office chair closer to him. Shocked, she couldn't help but return his fierce stare. "You have absolutely changed, and I won't let you say something that's so wrong. You've been growing stronger for as long as I've known you. You're totally not the same Makoto from back then." His mouth was set firm, like he wasn't going to accept what she said no matter how she tried to convince him. "All that Makoto could ever do was listen and follow orders, be the good President and not step on anyone's toes. The one in front of me is way better. She's our kickass Adviser, my girlfriend, and she can't leave well enough alone because she knows that'd be wrong thing to do. The fact that you made the realization of what was happening and came to help me is proof of that!" He hissed emphatically, trying to get that point across.

She could only shake her head. "But that still wasn't enough." Feeling the energy building up, and knowing there was a lot more to cover, she got up from the chair. She immediately missed his hand on her cheek, which was a touch red, but she had a lot to say. His hand held itself in the same spot where Makoto was, but Ren's gaze followed her movement. She walked to her desk and stared at the wall. "It's obviously not just myself I betrayed. Succumbing so easily to this reality that Dr. Maruki made for us was bad enough, obviously exposing my own shortcomings. I'll be working double time to correct that." The image of a bruised and tired Joker entered her mind, but she didn't falter. "But I thought that, at least, when it came to you, _you,_ I'd have a tougher spine. That I wouldn't abandon you when you seriously needed my help." She felt the impact now that the words were really coming out, but she tried not to let her emotions weaken her voice. "Do you remember the day I called you into the Student Council room?" She asked, before he interrupted her again.

She was still looking at the wall her desk was at, so she couldn't see his response, but she knew he could tell what was being referred to. "I was really smug with myself back then, using what little authority I had to taunt you. I thought I had some serious leverage, having the power to decide whether the Phantom Thieves would live or die. I really was a tool for the adults, nothing more." The mental image of Ren's barely composed face in the Student Council room, the one emanating fear, of her, disgusted her. She shook the thought off. "In truth, you were the ones who had my life in your hands. I was putting all of my hopes into the chance that you could actually pull off my insane request. It would've affirmed what confidence I had, that true justice could exist, that it wasn't just a monopoly wielded by callous public figures for their own benefit. And if I could help those fighters of justice, find a way to oppose everyone who wanted me to stay docile and harmless, then I could actually change. And, wouldn't you know it, I did."

Makoto twisted her foot into the carpet, feeling the disgust pool within her again. "But then you saw it for yourself. All of that progress and gratitude didn't mean anything when I was offered my deepest desires. Not. A damn. Thing." She noted bitterly.

She became quiet after that. Her chest felt tight, as if her own heart was resonating to her words. She could feel the strong heartbeats under her hand resting on her chest. It cried out for those things she lost. It was almost petulant, like a little kid begging and crying for her strong Dad and big Sis when she was all alone. Those yearnings, such childish things...

"Do you really think that wanting your Dad back is selfish?"

She kept quiet. Ren had a way of really cutting to the heart of the matter, pushing away the fluff and melancholy when it was needed. She thought for a moment, and shook her head. "Wanting isn't the issue here. You know more than anybody how much losing Dad tore away at me. That was my pain." She chucked lightly to herself, and it was almost carefree. "I was really happy when you listened to me tell you that story. You were really reliable when I needed you." She felt herself smile at the thought, a little bit of moisture also gathering in her eyes. That was a good memory.

"Makoto..." He whispered.

"The problem is that... I can't forgive myself for abandoning you, for choosing Maruki's fake reality over you."

"...You weren't abandoning me. How could you say that?"

His voice was more raw than before, and it didn't surprise her, but it still hurt. She knew why, and she knew she was responsible for it. Not just her, but when it came to Ren, even if her teammates all chose to do the same thing, and even if he had an unlikely alliance with Akechi and Sumire-san to lean on, the fact that Makoto, _his partner,_ was not there to share the burden was inexcusable. Even if he'd never willingly put that weight on her shoulders, she knew this deep in her heart.

She finally turned to look at him. He was still wearing his glasses, but it almost seemed like the glare of it was purposefully shielding his eyes from her. His shoulders were hunched. His form was tense from this heavy conversation, her ranting. And she was about to make it worse.

"That's how you felt though..." She said gently, trying to soothe him, wanting to not sound accusatory. Any sense of impropriety was absent from her mind as she knelt in front of him. She rested her hands on the bed beside his legs. Her head was just below height of his hunched posture, trying to meet his eyes.

She could sense the charge emitting from him after her comment. It was probably embarrassing for him to handle, maybe even shameful. But something Dr. Maruki had said to them all at their last meeting really struck her, and probably everybody else, too. She had kept her eye on him for the past week, watching cautiously from a distance. She felt terrible for it, but gathering courage to say the things she has and what she was about to bring up took far longer than she had liked. Watching him meet up with everybody else after school told her everything she needed to do. She noticed the looks on their faces when they walked to the train station. They were looks of resolve, so she already knew their teammates had all said their piece. But his reaction practically confirmed that no one felt it was right to bring up _that_ sensitive subject.

Perhaps it was her right as his girlfriend to bring it up, no matter how painful it was. She steeled herself, drew in a deep breath, and opened her eyes to lock with his.

"Why would you feel guilty, for freeing us?" She asked, honestly wondering.


	2. Confront Him

_**01/09 | Unknown Palace? | Daytime** _

_8 days earlier_

_***THWAK*** _

The incurring smash echoed loudly, almost comically so, within the sterile-walled facility. An unsuspecting Shadow, this one ornately dressed in doctor's attire, smacked hard against the wall. Its body limp and utterly pulverized, it dissolved pitifully into a black mist. She and the other Thieves looked upon its remains pitilessly.

"...You know, Skull, you and Joker like using that move _way too much_."

Skull stomped petulantly on the floor. "You really like raggin' on brute force at the weirdest times, 'ya know that?" Reeling back his arm, Skull felt the oh-so satisfying _pop_ in his shoulder. " _Ahhh,_ it feels good being back to the grind. The Shadows here don't got nothin' on us!. Man though, catchin' them off guard like that and just..." He made the motion of swinging his gigantic spiked bat. "Lettin' em have it before they even realize what's going on is, like, the best feelin'! Way faster than lettin' the little guys pop out of them."

"...I've said it once, and I'll say it again. That is the stupidest shortcut you've ever come up with. _Running at super weak Shadows and instantly killing them, should not work!"_ Mona groused.

"Aw, shuddup!" Skull yelled, stepping towards Mona aggressively. "You're just jealous I came up with something so smart, and you didn't!"

Mona jumped indignantly. "Why you—?! We're really doing this again?" Mona sighed with disappointment. "It's sad to see you didn't recover a _brain_ when we got back to normal, you brutish vagabond!"

"Is this really the time to be arguing like an old married couple, you two?!" Panther screamed at them with disbelieving eyes.

"To a monkey like _him?!_ Lady Ann, I—" "Whoa whoa, there ain't _no way_ I'd ever tie the knot with a stupid cat like—" They both immediately protested.

Running white-gloved fingers over her iron mask, her metaphorical temples, Queen whispered a silent prayer to whatever non-control freak God or Gods that were out there. Bringing forth as much coldness as she could muster, she sauntered over to the glaring pair and smacked the head of one, and roughly pulled the ear of the other.

" _YOW!"_ "Augh, shit! Ow!" Mona and Skull cried out. They rubbed their respective areas of abuse, staggering away from each other in pain.

Willing herself to adopt more of her authoritative personality, she glared harshly at her teammates. "As lovely as it is watching you two return to your normal shenanigans, I have to agree with Panther. We have much more pressing matters than throwing our gloves down over an admittedly useful ability. So, drop the banter. _Do I make myself clear...?"_ She willed her voice to drop an octave or two, and she'd be lying if the resulting rigidness in the two didn't satisfy her.

That at least confirmed to her there were no residual effects of whatever spell they were on before. Prior to this, while she was with her... family, she still felt the connection to her friends. It was still there, but it felt... more hollow? It was like, even though she didn't have so much in common with them all, she still felt the echo of a previous bond, one she felt determined to keep. It would take a lot more than a memory haze to rip the studious girl away from these jokesters and fighters for justice.

Now, with the haze lifted, her purpose was finally clear again... Administering discipline over her compatriots.

"Well, we must be back to full spirits again! Queen can still resolve conflicts so exquisitely. You're still quite so motherly!" Noir giggled, smiling with her usual sweetness, unironically commenting on her stern reprimanding.

Makoto balked. How was Noir so good at breaking the tension? And why'd it have to be at her expense?! "D-Did you have to phrase it like that?" Queen meekly replied, reverting back to her prior sheepishness.

Personal embarrassment aside, Queen was very pleased to see that the group dynamics in the team were back to normal. A part of her did kind of miss the petulant banter of the most ego-centric Phantom Thieves, even if sometimes she wanted to throw that affection into one of her Freidynes.

She was doing the best she could to emanate Queen to the rest of the team; the part of her that was capable of taking the wheel during a crisis. If Joker wasn't around to anchor the team with his confident sway, dashing ahead of everyone with an air of inspiratory grace that subtly willed them to follow, then she just needed to crack her knuckles and bring everyone into line.

She'd never call herself graceful, but what works works.

But on the inside, she felt anything but calm. Anxious, swirling pools of anticipation barely hid underneath her skin; she'd never admit it aloud, but she was thankful for her Metaverse suit sometimes. The extra layer of security was good for her nerves. It was like being comfortable in a second set of skin... Sort of like a reptile...

She needed to come up with better analogies...

"Not to bring down the attempts to lighten the mood, admittedly not a bad idea in our predicament, but shouldn't we be concentrating on locating Joker as quickly as possible? Not arguing methodology?" The refined voice of Fox suggested behind her. He leaned against a nearby white couch, accepting that they were having an impromptu meeting.

"Yeah, I'll say, Inari." Oracle rolled her eyes, tapping away at her digital interface. Pausing, the young girl's face twisted in horror. "Wait, am I seriously agreeing with you...? Ugggghh, what is this place doing to me?! Is it too late for me to go back to la-la land?" She shook her head vehemently, violently moving around her digital interface. She let off her favorite—she totally hates him—oddball with an unseen glare before returning to the task at hand. "Anyway, Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dumb aside, Skull's right. The less time we spend thrashing the trash mobs, the faster I can get a good reading on this place. This Palace is _way_ too big." She grumbled. "Ugh, and I still can't isolate Joker's position..." She mumbled, analyzing the map data they recovered from an overzealous Shadow. Strangely enough, the Shadows here were unafraid to directly confront them, despite the obvious disparity of power in some of them.

The corridor they were in was quiet, uncomfortably so. Queen nervously glanced around, but if any Shadows were aware of their presence, they didn't make any move to confront them. She would give credit where it was due; Skull's improvised technique was saving them a lot of time. And the Shadows in this area were pitifully weak. Guess that was what happened when even a false God had to submit to you.

Which meant, Joker was most likely okay... Makoto winced imperceptibly. "Yes, I would prefer if we were acting on more reliable intel. We're still in the dark on why he's chosen to infiltrate this Palace by himself... I know we weren't available when he needed us, but..." Glancing at the others, they were much less subtle signalling their guilt. Oracle let out a subdued whine, and Skull, who was closest to Ren besides her, kicked a nearby lounge chair and cursed under his breath.

Queen shook her head. Sentimentality could plague her later. "He surely wouldn't have come alone, right? I mean, we could only enter this place because of Mona, after all. I know he wouldn't enter without at least some precautions." She realized with a start that she hadn't given proper appreciation yet. "T-Thank you again for doing that for us, Mona."

Mona shook his head. "That is the last time I'm bringing all of you into a Palace like that... Lady Lavenza's gift certainly came in handy, though." He crossed his arms and looked inquisitive. "Still, I'd feel a lot better if we knew _who's_ Palace this was..." They all exasperatedly checked the area again for hostile Shadows, lamenting the size of this place. He made a frustrated grunt, giving a worried look to their hacker. "Hey, Oracle? Is it really that hard to find him? You have all those gadgets."

"I told you guys before, the Internet can't solve every problem!" Oracle complained, swiping more furiously at her monitor. "Besides him, Yoshizawa-san is the only other Persona user he could've brought in, right?" Morgana glanced at the floor in thought. He was wearing a deep frown. Queen narrowed her eyes, wondering if he knew something. "If he brought her in here with him, then he's probably trying to avoid fighting, you know? Since she's the newbie? I can't pick up anything until I get a spike in activity. And for once, he's not going all aggro on everybody." She shook her head, appearing disgruntled behind her goggles. "Of all times to be smart and cautious, that frizzy-haired..." Oracle mumbled the last part to herself.

Skull leaned against his weapon, the tip perched against the floor. He shared a worried glance with Noir and Panther. "You don't think he's actually in trouble, do ya?"

"I mean," Panther said. "This is him we're talking about. But like, two people going alone in a place like this makes me a bit worried. The Shadows here aren't all that strong, but what about in other areas? Besides, Mona and Noir already taught us that nothing less than the whole group will get through a Palace." Noir quickly folded her hands behind her back, looking at least mildly sheepish. Mona just hanged his head, remembering all too well the days when he let his ego go out of control. Panther sighed angrily. "I just wanna find them and get the hell out of here! I wanna know what's going on, dammit!"

"...You and me both, Panther." Queen leaned on her hip.

Skull suddenly grinned, eyes popping out like he had an idea. That worried Makoto a lot. "Hey, why don't we try the old-fashioned way? We basically just gotta find him in this huge ass place, right?" He glanced around at everyone, oblivious to their growing tension. "Sooo, why don't we yell out for him? Who cares if we get spotted by a bunch of weak dipshits? As long as we find him and get out, not like we gotta worry 'bout security."

"Mmmm..." Panther hummed, pursing her lips. "...I guess, if we're in a hurry..." Sounding not totally unopposed to his plan.

"Panther, seriously?!" Queen groaned. She didn't even know where to begin pointing out the flaws in that course of action. She was seriously about to suggest they just keep moving...

A loud, digital shrill sounded from Oracle. "Ahh!" She jumped. "Wait, huh?" Oracle blurted, attracting everyone's attention. Her hovering interface registered a new data set, from what Queen could see. Everyone tensed, looking on with piqued interest. A bit reminiscent of the end of Sis's Palace... She moved around some of the more useless interfaces to focus on the blare of new information. Her eyes widened. "Uh, well, there's the spike..."

Queen came up next to Oracle, trying to make out the younger girl's data interface. She laid her hand on Oracle's shoulder and looked at the map display. Was that it? She made out multiple nodes, probably representing life forms, plastered over a floor plan. Queen wasn't an expert on architectural design, but the floor plan resembled something akin to an audience chamber. Oracle wasn't looking at that, however, and was instead studying the numbers flashing against a data chart.

Queen wasted no more time. "Which way is this room?" She asked sternly. They had a direction now, and she was ready to move.

"I-I don't think..." She stumbled over her words. She looked at Queen and shook her head. "W-Wait, hold on! It's not just Joker! I'm picking up multiple different readings."

Skull voiced the thought that was going through everyone's heads. "Is he fightin' someone? Why do you sound so agitated, Oracle?" Fox and Mona nodded, while Noir and Panther stared worriedly.

"Okay, let me just put this as simply as possible." Oracle announced, a hint of panic in her voice. "Yes, Joker is one of two friendly signatures I'm picking up. The other one must be Yoshizawa-san. But... there are two other presences as well. Like, one of them is comparable in power to Joker, while the other is _totally-off-the-charts_ _mega powerful!"_

Queen gasped. "Are you saying the Palace Ruler is there, too?"

"I-I don't know." Oracle scrambled, before finally closing the interface. Futaba's framed tensed. "All I know is that our aggro tank's in big trouble!"

Fox stepped up, offering only a slight reprieve to everyone's agitation. "Do you know which direction we must go?"

Oracle nodded, looking ready to bolt. "Yeah, follow me. And hurry!" Queen was surprised. Oracle hardly ever took such initiative in leading. Even in the face of intense pressure that would've crushed the old Futaba, she provided rational, if not often snarky, navigation. But if what she read was true, then...

Queen stepped up to the front of the group. "Alright everyone, fall in line!" The Phantom Thieves all nodded, Oracle dashing in front of everyone down the sparsely decorated hallway. The rest followed shortly behind. Queen matched her pace with Oracle, gauntlets ready to thrash through whatever enemies were naive enough to get in their way. Skull covered her flank.

She had no idea what, or who, they were going to face. One thing she knew, is she feared for Joker... for Ren. The impulsive, emotional side of her wanted to be angry at him. He knew better, ignoring basic protocol and going into a Palace undermanned. They'd already had that talk what felt like long ago, images of unsavory gangsters popping in her head, and the lingering smell of booze and drugs and a fat fucking fly overriding her rationale. She gritted her teeth, knowing he was heavily involved in a reckless abandon towards some arbitrary, unexplained goal. The emotional part of her was calling, trying to dredge up some form of anger to latch onto in this chaos. But she couldn't.

She felt the pool of regret within her, knowing that he probably had no agency in this. What with their previous situation, she reminisced sadly, she wasn't really in a position to help, even desire to do so. This entire debacle was up-heaving her whole sense of real and unreal. What had happened to them? Was the Metaverse adversely affecting the real world, even though they'd supposedly relieved the Public of their collective distorted desires? And what did Ren mean yesterday when he said all of those things? Until the answers appeared, and for some reason she felt a reluctance to confront such harsh truths, she could only focus on the sound of her boots pounding against the ground towards whatever lay ahead of them. Eyes forward. She had to save him.

_Please be safe. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt, if I'm not there helping you..._

* * *

" _You came..._ "

A fatigued whisper, barely rising above the crackling energy of the room. _His voice._ There were emotions underlying those words that she wanted to pinpoint... Relief? Bewilderment? Something else that she couldn't—wouldn't?—name?

When they arrived at the audience chamber, Ryuji acting with his usual reckless abandon that she was, for once, grateful for, they finally found Joker. The scene playing out in front of the battle-ready Phantom Thieves was nothing short of befuddling, Queen initially thought. A familiar dark figure stood at her boyfriend's side, and whatever instinctual reaction she would've had towards him was smothered by the knowledge that Akechi was fighting _with_ him. She'd wager her teammates felt the same.

Assessing the situation, though, she had little time to divert attention to their once enemy. The scene in front of them was almost unreal. A Persona seeping with dark energy, emanating what would once be considered nimble grace, now malice and desperation. She recognized it as a sign of berserk, which she had seen once before... While the others were exclaiming shock and getting into battle formation, Queen locked eyes with Akechi, tilting her head towards the Persona. He shook his head. His grit teeth and wild look told her he probably didn't appreciate her insinuation, however justified she was to do so.

And the others... A giant mass of tendrils walled off the space behind the berserk Persona, rising to the height of the ceiling and probably beyond. Queen warily eyed them, reminded of a horror novel she'd once had to summarize for a middle school book report. Yoshizawa-san rose suspended in the air, layered in an outfit that could only manifest in the Metaverse, and a man that she was too shocked to believe was their previous school counselor stood there, in the center of it all.

Why was he inside a Palace? He wasn't a cognition, was he? So many questions swirled in her head. The only comfort was she need not confront them right now; that the problem facing them wasn't arisen out of a need for calm, rational dissection, but unadulterated combat. She welcomed that reprieve.

She absently noted Skull asking Joker if taking down the berserk Persona would solve their situation, to which he affirmed. She wasn't so shaken, though, to not notice his own unsteadiness. Their primary goal was to subdue this thing, then confirm Yoshizawa-san's safety. And if Akechi wasn't the one responsible for their situation, then that meant they were fighting the man in front of them.

Whatever else she did today, Makoto stood by Ren's side, and she was glad for it. She stepped into her battle stance, while Akechi and Skull took up their positions too. Joker nodded, stepping in front between her and Akechi. The others fell into their roles of support, providing magic enhancements and the occasional elemental strike Yoshizawa-san's _Persona_.

She felt solace, falling back into her role. One wouldn't traditionally associate this high-intensity battle with bliss, or anything like that...

But it felt right.

* * *

" _The clock strikes midnight..."_

The resignation of the statement struck Queen as sad, even though she didn't know why. A fantasy reference, she thought grimly to herself, but she wasn't in the mind or mood to remember from exactly where. The tendrils behind it began shaking, seemingly losing what strength was holding them up and receding back into the floor. Everyone tensed, remaining in combat positions for anything else that might come. But instead, the status of berserk seemed to drain away from the red Persona. Its body reverted back to the state she assumed was natural, a transparent and royal blue scheme. It's head lowered, resigned, before the Persona disappeared.

Yoshizawa-san lowered down to earth, the tendrils in their last strength letting her go gently. Her clothes reverted into her normal winter attire. She looked exhausted... an—and she was collapsing!

...Into the arms of a panicked Ren, who caught her just in time...

_Joker's! Joker's arms... I mean, yes, his name is Ren, and Ren does help everyone, but this is the Metaverse where Ren is Joker, and Joker saves his teammates. But, Kasumi-san isn't a teammate and here she was just Kasumi-san, but she was also fighting like a Persona-user against Joker... against him. And he saved her..._

It took too many seconds for Makoto to realize the stupor she was in, and shook her head as subtly as possible, wanting her teammates to not notice. She felt a wave of embarrassment hit her.

_Okay, seriously, quit acting like a repressed, angst-ridden school girl! Gods, the insecurity!_ She mentally yelled at herself. _Gods... I-I don't know what's going on... at all..._

Keeping her defensive stance at their now quiet adversary, she glanced down at her lover. Yoshizawa-san's limp form rested semi-securely against him, unresponsive to his checking her condition. It almost looked like her face was peaceful. Almost. As everyone expressed their worries for her, he finally acknowledged their presence. Within the span of a few seconds, his gaze passed through everyone standing next to him. In shock, she was surprised to see. And... something else she had a hard time placing. He met her gaze last, leaving Akechi's murderous stare to the man in front of them. She lowered her head to meet his stare. His expression was neutral and enigmatic, like usual. Still, he was there enough to give her a smile. It was shaky and genuine.

_...But I really need to learn to place some faith and stand on it._ She returned his smile with something much more firm, and what she hoped came across as every bit as confident as it ever was. Even in this mess. She was _so glad_ that he was safe... She broke his gaze and turned her attention to the only other person here, and she felt her nerves acting up again. His face screamed disbelief.

"Y-You... You've all..." The man in front of them stammered. He shifted his feet, just as his eyes shifted between them all in disbelief. "I _can't believe_ you've all thrown away your happiness, just to come here and..." His gaze landed on Joker again, who was gently lowering Yoshizawa-san to the spotless floor. Noir and Mona quickly stepped over behind Joker, hovering protectively over her. Joker returned the look. And... with a scowl? There appeared to be some understanding in the doctor's eyes, who gave everyone another once over. "But... that's impossible."

Akechi let out a not-very-subtle scoff, his body radiating hostility even still. He glanced at Joker, who was still paying attention to Dr. Maruki, but tilted his head in the dark-masked man's direction. Queen, and likely everyone else, held themselves cautiously on the sides.

But Joker didn't say anything back. An uncomfortable silence settled over all parties, giving the already ominous auditorium an even greater pressure. Queen also _really_ didn't care for their silent audience; she knew they were cognitions, but rows upon rows of seats filled with blissfully unaware guests didn't sit well with her. It made her feel like everything happening was some sort of spectacle for an uncaring crowd—a feeling not too dissimilar to what the Phantom Thieves experienced merely a few months ago. She also knew Oracle didn't care for the glossy attention either, if the shuffles coming from her boots were any indication.

A nervous hum coming from Panther grabbed everyone's attention. When she saw that she had been silently deemed the breaker of silence, she grimaced but went ahead. "You're... Dr. Maruki, right?"

He sighed. "...That's right." A hard glint appeared in his eyes. "But... how did you all..."

"How is that possible...?" A voice from her left interrupted. Oracle mumbled that one aloud, but feeling emboldened, she continued. "You shouldn't be here! I mean, you're not a cognition! Or at least, you don't feel like one. And that insane presence from earlier..." She folded her hands nervously. "...T-That's you."

Queen looked up sharply, eyes disbelieving. The others, particularly Skull, were kicking up a fuss, and for good reason. Dr. Maruki? Their _counselor,_ right here, in that showman's getup? It was such a ridiculous notion, so out of left field that she expected for the doe eyed crowd around them to burst out in laughter at any moment. That, something else, anything! She quickly skimmed through all memories she could muster up involving their former counselor. A blank, she wasn't surprised to say. Nothing he did or said previously screamed _'suspicious'!_ Nothing close to Akechi, that was for sure... But, if Dr. Maruki was in this Palace, and he wasn't a cognition or an innocent actor, then...

A harsh sigh quieted everyone down. "He's _ruling this Palace,_ is what he's doing." Akechi said, exasperatedly.

She couldn't stop the harsh recoil from racking her body, a natural reaction. The subdued gasps from the others didn't make her feel much better. He pretty much said exactly what she was thinking, with little hesitance or care. Because it was coming from _him,_ though, she was paradoxically trying to deny it. She grit her teeth so hard it somewhat ached her gums, staring hard while he stood there so nonchalant. There was no way that this boy, who by all right should be in a _cell_ right now, was speaking truth. Normally, she would lambaste this harsh emotional reaction, but given the recipient of such feelings, it wasn't difficult for her to let it slip. _He_ was responsible for instigating the chain of events that had nearly spelt the end of their country, the demise of their group, and the end of _Ren's life._ The feelings were still painfully fresh, and it took a sizable amount of willpower not to let loose something she would no doubt regret later. _Dr. Maruki_ was this Palace's Ruler...? They weren't missing something crucial, were they?

But when she glanced back to their leader, she faltered. Joker still faced the doctor, who's face had morphed into something far more serious. He didn't say anything. He didn't share outspoken agreement with Akechi's exclamation... But, neither did he deny it. The rest of the she-now-guessed-was-reinstated Phantom Thieves quieted down too, having made the same realization. Skull, in particular, shook himself and asked what they all wanted to hear. "H-He's not serious... Look, he don't even got the yellow eyes like the rest!" His shaky scowl bore teeth, but his eyes were nervous. "This isn't... for real, is it?"

Joker finally broke his staring contest with Dr. Maruki to look at Skull. "It is." Joker bowed his head.

"And more than that," Akechi continued, uncaring for the growing turmoil within their group. "He is the orchestrator behind this distorted reality." He wore a vicious smile. "The one you were all ingratiating yourselves within? Uncaring of the real struggles going on anymore, drowning yourselves in a pool of bliss?" She was dead certain he took a sadistic pleasure in tearing them apart. Oracle, Noir and Fox all looked practically gutted. Queen glared a figurative molten hole in him. He suddenly dropped his smile, opting for a downright murderous frown at the doctor. "All of it. It is all under the direct control of this _man."_ His voice flexed in such a way that the last word came out closer to a growl than anything. "Isn't that right, Maruki-san?"

"You certainly have a lot to say about me, Akechi-kun." Maruki replied, his voice surprisingly collected. "None of it particularly kind, it seems. I won't deny you whatever personal hatred you have against me, although I wish you were more receptive, and realize that I am not yours, or any of yous enemy!" He shook his head. "Your words are a gross oversimplification of my intent."

"Oh? Is it?" Akechi crossed his arms and scowled, sardonically. The vitriol he was displaying was far harsher than anything she'd ever seen from him. Like whatever personal hatred he had for Joker—who felt Akechi doesn't actually hate him, which is something she can't quite agree with—was paltry in comparison to this man. Sure, their encounter in the Engine Room was far more... murderous, for lack of a better term, but back then he seemed to lose all grasp of his better rationale. Here, he was calm. Too calm. And that worried her.

"Yes," Dr. Maruki winced. "You claim that my intent is to brainwash you, and that I want to use this new reality in order to subjugate you, to lord over your lives like some sort of tyrant." He listed off these claims calmly, but his face spoke of an internal storm. And he released some of that energy, throwing out his arm. "That couldn't be further from the truth!" He glanced at everyone present, expressions ranging from totally lost to warily intrigued, and shook his head. "Each and every one of you... I only wanted to grant your wishes, to give everyone a fair shot at a happy life."

"Happy life?" Fox questioned aloud, a word that everyone was rolling around in their mouths. Akechi kept quiet, but didn't let up his ugly expression.

"The ones you all deeply yearn for." Dr. Maruki revealed.

Makoto glanced at the others, and she sensed open confusion, but also reverberating confirmation from them. What she yearned for... It... somewhat made sense. She made it no terrible secret that she wished her father had never died the way he did; never died at all, really. And of course, even following their success at fooling the conspiracy and getting Sis on their side, things weren't magically better between the two sisters. One major reconciliation and a few small acts of cooperation didn't automatically heal a three year rift marked with burdens and harsh words, she realized with an internal wince. Indeed, the life that she recalls more distantly now, the one with her father alive, _had_ felt rejuvenating beyond words, however she had difficulty believing the validity of his claims. But, assuming this entire situation was real, and she had little cause to doubt it was, the rewriting of reality itself (something she _has_ seen happen firsthand) would be enough to fix those things. A remedy to life's unfairness, she noted, hints of philosophical study filling her head. It sort of reminded her of Jose's Star, funnily enough. Except, this was on a far grander scale than she would ever imagine possible, and with wider reaching consequences.

"Now wait, hold up! That don't make no sense!" Skull yelled. Skull is always one to speak his mind first, so this didn't surprise her. He clenched both of his fists defiantly. "Even if we did want this sorta thing, I don't remember makin' that kind of wish, least of all to you, Doc!"

"Are you really so certain about that?" Maruki challenged, glaring.

Silence. Nobody had anything to say back to that. Neither Akechi nor Joker, who were the most well informed, had a prepared rebuke. Joker's hard face only seemed to close off more and more. Akechi rolled his eyes and looked away. Queen, meanwhile, felt her uncertainty increase furthermore, her crimson eyes taking in the scene with more and more apprehension. ' _Did she wish for it?'_ she asked herself. Well, she scrunched one of her eyes shut, looking down at the floor shamefully. She couldn't deny it, could she? Given the inconsistencies in her memories, especially involving Kanikazu Okumura and Wakaba Isshiki, they must have. Was all of this really possible...?

_What has happened to us,_ she so badly wanted to ask. _Why should I believe you're not lying to us,_ she wanted to lay down the pressure and force a confession. But this fear, this rising tide of uncertainty seemed to hold her tongue in a vice grip. She didn't want to be a reactionary actor here; she wanted to lead the charge, with Joker, refute what this man/Shadow thing was saying, but her gut instinct told her that what was being said weren't falsehoods. That it might be better to listen than act irrationally. But God, if she didn't scrunch her eyes shut and will herself to scrounge up some amount of strength. The strength to know definitively what was right and what was wrong here. Her digging felt useless at the moment, though, and she could only look down at her feet.

He only sighed. "No, never mind." He looked upon the group sadly, before resolutely looking at Joker in the middle. "So, you all intend to defy the reality I've created for you... Is that right?" He asked, seemingly offering one last chance to reconsider. The others, not knowing whether this meant another fight, subtly tensed up. She watched Joker carefully, crimson eyes looking worriedly at how he would respond.

"I think we've made our intent clear." He said softly, as concise as he's always presented himself.

Maruki shook his head, frustration clear. "Why...?" He asked, more to himself than Joker. "I want to understand your reasoning, at least." Maruki pointed at him. "You should share at least that much. You're motivated by the same thing as me, to help people through their suffering. People like Yoshizawa-san," he pointed out. Joker breathed deeply, but didn't respond. Queen glanced worriedly at him. Have they... talked about this before?

Joker breathed out warily, like he was afraid it would come to this. "I never wanted it to come to this..." He whispered. "Yeah, the Phantom Thieves' core goal is to help people," he glanced behind him, taking in the sight of his team. "Especially... Yoshizawa. People like her," he strained. Queen's eyes narrowed slightly. Why had he hesitated right there? He shook his head, returning his gaze to Maruki. "But, your solution is outside of the range we think is acceptable. The fact that everybody is here is proof enough of that." She and the others grinned, while Akechi watched neutrally.

"Ah, yes," Maruki said, narrowing his eyes at them. "I was thinking about that... I said it was impossible, but that's clearly not true, it seems." He looked at Joker again, and recognition hit his eyes. "Ah, I see. It was your influence, Ren-kun."

Joker tilted his head, eyes narrowing. "What are you saying?" He asked, his voice taking a harder edge.

Maruki ran his gloved hand across his face. "I get it now... It's the same reason that Yoshizawa-san," he glanced at the others, "rediscovered the truth." He supplanted, apparently playing the same game Joker was. Queen clenched her fists, frustrated that they were leaving details from the rest of them. Why are they saying a whole load of nothing?! She imagined the feeling was mutual among the others. Skull, next to her, huffed quietly, clearly fed up with this game of insinuations, too. She took in Yoshizawa-san's sleeping form; _what_ truth was here that warranted keeping such a poor, open secret?

Joker must've heard them, because he turned his head back and waved his hand down, gesturing them to stand down. He held Skull's gaze for a second before the brute thug _tsked_ and looked away. He did the same for Queen, who instead held his gaze.

She didn't appreciate that they were being left to the sidelines in terms of information. They were supposed to be equals. But the look in his eyes pleaded for Queen, asking for patience and trust.

She closed her eyes for a second, before opening them and giving him a curt nod. She wasn't happy with him, but she'd trust there was a reason for this. He nodded, a hint of a grin in the corners of his lips, before returning to Maruki. She hoped he wouldn't leave her in the dark on this. He wouldn't, would he? _Trust._ She reminded herself.

"Your actions were incredibly significant in breaking their newfound realities, Ren-kun," Maruki continued. "I can't say for certain _exactly_ how you did this, but I assume it has something to do with your tight bonds, yes?" Joker didn't answer, but she imagined his silence was enough for Maruki. "External stimulus acting contrary to their new, lived experiences. Not to mention stressing core memory centers that haven't completely assimilated with the new reality yet. This likely caused a mental conflict which translated into arising physical ailments, eventually leading to a need for, well, probably all of them to investigate. And here we are, because of your actions, Ren-kun. I'm impressed." He shook his head, but appeared grimly amused.

_Arising physical ailments?_ Makoto thought, placing her hand on her chin, then her temple. _Is he talking about that splitting headache after I talked to Ren?_ Well, that answered one question. Queen felt a pat on her arm, and turned to see Noir looking at her inquisitively. Knowing what she was asking, she whispered "Yes." Noir smiled and nodded, laying her hand on her chest before mouthing _"Me too."_ The others seemed to realize this too. Strangely, Oracle looked down at the ground, sullen. Queen was confused for a second before she felt a wave of sympathy hit her. Right, Oracle likely had immense knowledge when it came to mental conditions affecting one physically, since for many months she practically _lived_ that way. Alone. Panther, easily the most emotionally mature of the group, sensed what was happening and stood close to Oracle, providing what passive comfort she could, which she returned with a weak nod.

That also confirmed her and everyone else's suspicions: he had approached them with a calculated purpose. That moment, in LeBlanc, where the barrier had broken? _That,_ specifically, probably wasn't planned, but he still acted out with the intent... She looked at him forlorn, but if he felt anything like that, he didn't show it. Another regret, another prick to her chest, she winced.

Joker's frame tensed up to these last few statements from Maruki, if the stiffness in his shoulders weren't lying to her. "What I did was necessary, that's what I believe." He said curtly. Maruki's expression sharpened that little bit. She was too used to analyzing faces; too used to looking around every corner for a mole, or a lying face. Whatever Ren said intrigued the doctor.

"I believe you," Maruki said back, looking... not quite disappointed, but somewhere between that and frustrated. "Still, like I said, these events eventually culminated in Yoshizawa-san, as well as your friends, coming here, and returning to their pain." He shook his head, his voice taking on more conviction. "Why...? It shouldn't be necessary for good people to have to suffer like that. That's why I believe in wiping the slate clean! Offer people, those who have never done wrong, and those who made mistakes and never recovered, everyone, a chance for a fresh start." Joker's expression didn't change, despite what the doctor was practically throwing in his face. Maruki looked specifically at Akechi, who scoffed. She did wonder why he, of all people, was so adamant against the prospect of a new life? Question for another time "One where life itself isn't pitted against you!"

"So you're willing to alter the very nature of reality to see that done?" Joker asked, honestly wondering, almost imploring.

"Why not? It's a gift, a way to enact some good in this world! I didn't..." He raised his hand to his chest, hesitant. He shook it off. "It's my gift, and it would be wrong of me to squander it. Even if I had reservations about using it, which I don't, the world is constantly calling out, in loud unison, for a guiding hand, _a way out!_ Someone needs to give it."

"The world wants all sorts of things, not all of it good. Even if some positivity comes of your reality..." Joker hesitated, eyes darting around him. "...Bending the world around you in order to do that isn't right. It still isn't just. It just sets the goalpost back, way beyond the point of helping desperate people who need a hand. It's like the exact opposite of what we were fighting against before."

"And you never wondered, had that trickle in the back of your mind, that maybe you weren't doing _enough?"_ Maruki stated it softly, but it did speak to something in them. Joker remained silent, shaking his head. Maruki sighed, tiredly putting his hand on his hip. Like he couldn't understand their position.

Perhaps... that was something she could rectify. There was a glaring absence in the discussion here, Queen noticed, one she couldn't keep quiet about. Not if she wanted to remain a docile bystander, with Ren being the only one taking the helm. Damn whatever hesitance snaked around her and held her back, if she could contribute to solving this quandary peacefully, even if she didn't have all the pieces, why not give it a shot? Thinking back to her initial nervousness at _'broadening her horizons,'_ she stepped forward.

"If you have knowledge of the Metaverse, and the warping of the masses, then you must also be aware of the former God of Control, yes?" She voiced aloud, grabbing everyone's attention.

Maruki looked at her curiously, but seemed welcome to any productive discussion. Joker eyed her curiously from her right, but let her take the floor.

"I am," he confirmed.

She wasn't going to prolong this discussion by asking how; she was just glad she may have an avenue. "Then you must know that your plans for the world, if my knowledge of it is correct, is not so dissimilar to His." Maruki narrowed his eyes, but she stopped him before he would try to rebuke. "Now, I am not implying that your motivations are anywhere near as vile as His was, but the overall framework is much the same. You're calling for a complete restructuring of how our world behaves, fundamentally altering it to fit within the idealized vision you desire. We fought for this. All of it." She gestured her arms around and behind her. "We fought for our own self-determination on Christmas Eve, because a life under a Being dedicated to correcting the supposed 'mistakes' of reality wasn't one we thought was worthwhile, and was, in fact, repressive." Her tone took on a more sorrowful edge. "Even if such an 'ideal world' was better for us, we didn't allow our weaker selves to dictate our destiny!" Even though she was in the front of the group, she felt more than saw the hitch in Joker's body language next to her. Maruki's facial features sharpened, but still paid attention to her. "So you must understand our desires to fight back here, yes? We don't want to fight you, but you entrap us, forcing us into a situation where we must."

There was a general unison of agreement from the Phantom Thieves. Even Akechi hummed in approval, but she wondered whether that was more admiration for what she said, or for what he perceived as a scathing counter-argument against Maruki. _I kind of don't want to know,_ Makoto thought, amused. Stepping back, she looked to her partner. Even though Joker looked at her in apprehension and his body language was still tense, he still offered her a smile for her input.

_Genuine,_ she thought. With a bit of redness to her. It felt too long since they'd shared such a heartfelt connection. Two weeks of passive subservience and a guilty conscience did that, she supposed. She did let the warmth embrace her, though.

"Hahaha, I somewhat agree with you, Niijima-san." Maruki chuckled, a strain present in his voice. The rest of them, Joker included, turned back to Maruki. His shoulders were squared, glaring down at the tile floor. He even appeared to be shaking, but his anger didn't appear to be directed at them. "When I learned what happened last month, how close our world became to falling into the playpen of such a... _monstrous being..._ I felt more determined than ever before! I won't make the same mistakes..." He clenched his fists, looking at them with a still intact inner fire. Joker looked on worriedly, unhappy but unsurprised. Queen felt herself deflate a little, but knew that one counterargument wasn't enough to dislodge one's beliefs. The Phantom Thieves would've succumbed to despair long ago if that were the case.

Maruki shook his head, looking at Queen with sympathy. "I understand your hesitance, even fear, and I suppose there really isn't anything I can do to reassure you. All I can offer are my words, and a promise for the future." His gaze was soft, and he turned his attention to the unconscious Yoshizawa-san. "But, I can't let that stop me. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I shouldn't use that as a crutch to keep me from enacting the change I want to see. That the world deserves to see." He looked upward, at nothing in particular. "I wish it didn't have to put us at odds. I wish that you could see that I don't want to be anything like that monster, who didn't have a shred of Humanity in Him. I wish you would accept it..."

"He's delusional..." Akechi growled. "Can't even see the irony. Or he does, which is far, _far worse._ "

Maruki looked pointedly at him, but didn't comment on Akechi's harsh rebuke. He instead looked back to Joker. "The problem appears to be our differences in methodology. Your actions, and the actions taken with your friends last year, were a response to an unfair system that needs change. And not just that, no. The systems and individuals within them were worth your attention, yes, but they're a byproduct of an even larger, fundamental problem. It isn't _me_ entrapping you into this position, but life itself! The unjust nature of it encourages common problems like corruption, like manipulation, like suffering itself! It's not enough to change the hearts of a few vile people. The problem goes way deeper than that..." His face reflected his determination. "My reality will be the new bedrock that will replace such existence, and you won't have to waste away in this eternal fight anymore."

"So, this is your fundamental solution..." Joker said, a tiredness in his voice. If she had to guess, again, they've had this talk before.

Maruki looked at him steely. "It is," he said. "And I'm sorry that we can't find common ground." He chuckled, a hint of reminiscence. "From the beginning of your work up to now, I've always supported your efforts. In fact, I always wished you could take your work up to a new level. I guess changing individual people just isn't enough, though. It's not enough when the damage has been done, and you can't get back what's been stolen..." He said with an old sorrow.

_Dad..._ She thought, melancholy filling her system. She wouldn't lie. She didn't really regret having these new memories. Ones filled with dry wit in her home instead of icy tension, or playful banter and hope for the future overriding tense talks at the dinner table and the occasional explosive argument. She looked back up to him for a second, and she could feel his sympathy. She didn't know what to think of it, so unused to seeing an enemy behaving this way. A few of them, Noir and Futaba especially, looked down sadly. She couldn't help but do the same. Joker remained silent, rigid.

Maruki retreated several steps, clearly signalling that peaceful discussion was coming to a close. "If you're determined enough to follow your convictions, there isn't anything I can say now to dissuade you. If you want to change my heart, that's fine too." He faced Joker. "We don't have to settle this now. Yoshizawa-san's safety is more important than anything else, including our feud." He looked down at Yoshizawa-san's sleeping form, who looked almost peaceful were it not for the physical signs of stress. "I can only hope that you'll come to accept my reality of your own accord, that it's best for everyone..."

Akechi stepped forward. "Planning to run again?" he taunted, hand teasing above his jagged blade. Queen, and everyone else, tensed.

Maruki shook his head. "We can get back to fighting if that's what you really want... but you seem quite exhausted at the moment."

Akechi huffed, but didn't refute his point. While Queen didn't agree with Akechi's attempted provocation, she understood the desire to end this debacle right here and now. However, they had accomplished their primary objective, and it wouldn't do to bite off more than they could chew. She'd make a rather terrible Advisor if she was the one to suggest they redouble their efforts in a situation like this, without intel, tired, and emotionally drained. She noted this with a small, amused smile.

Joker, however, still stood in the same place. She looked at him worriedly, seeing him take in his former friend with a complicated expression. Before she knew it, he hanged his head and sighed. "I guess that's it then..." He drew within himself, before straightening back out. "Just know, we won't go down without a fight." He gave off what he hoped was a confident Joker-esque smile. Not quite, she noted sadly.

Maruki didn't smile back. "...You're an interesting person, Ren-kun." He noted clinically. Everyone, including herself, raised an eyebrow to this. His voice returned to a normal flexion. "Like I said before, you, and Akechi-kun, are not excluded from the people I wish to save. You're both driven by this passionate, yet paradoxical, sense of justice. In more ways than one, it seems." He turned briefly to Akechi, who's eyes flashed with hostility for a moment, before reining himself in. After a few moments, he chose to just cross his arms and scowl at him. Maruki turned to Joker... Ren(?) and continued. "I genuinely hope you can come to terms with what eats at you before accepting my reality. If not, that's fine too," while Ren's breath hitched, he then softly shook his head, smiling, "but you've always been an intriguing one. Moving forward despite facing such difficulties. Facing the world head on... Even still, it seems you still care too deeply, in spite of that justice. Or, is it the other way around?" She swore, as he gave them one final once over, his stare lingered on her for moments longer than the others, but his expression didn't change. He knew about her and Ren, there was no getting around that. So, what was he...?

A sound came from below them. "Ngh..." Somewhere between a groan and a mewl. With that mysterious experience at the back of her mind, she and everyone else voiced cries of relief, hearing Yoshizawa-san close to consciousness. Joker broke out of his pause and turned to her, relief clear in his eyes. Indeed, she thought with a more easygoing smile, a relief...

_"There's still time..."_ Everyone flinched, hearing the static of the intercom. Queen looked ahead, disbelieving that he was... gone. Likely teleported to this building's communications center. It was just like Sis's Shadow's memo, she noted. _"...February 3rd. I'll hear your final decision on February 3rd."_ She walked next to Joker's crouched form, head pointed up toward the intercom. He was listening, she could tell, but he was preoccupying himself with Yoshizawa-san's condition. Her superficial worries from earlier had disappeared, supplanted by something far more disturbing... _"If your views can't align with mine by then, then we'll no have other choice than physical altercation. As much as I would loathe that, I can't give up what I've started... What I swore I'd do... on the day that I lost everything that mattered to me!"_

The words echoed throughout the auditorium before fading away into the silence, but the implication of his words stuck in their minds much more permanently... He was gone. Futaba's words confirmed it.

Knowing that there was nothing left to be done now, she provided the group with proper direction. With Joker still appearing distracted, she took the lead, a role she wasn't unused to. "I want to pursue him, but I doubt that's even possible right now..." Everyone appeared drained upon hearing that, but she could tell it wasn't because they were disappointed. No one, besides Akechi who only looked reluctantly in agreement with her, appeared to desire pushing it.

"Yeah," Skull agreed, fists rammed into his pockets. "Yoshizawa-san needs rest anyway. Let's get out of here." Sauntering to the exit, Skull popped next to Joker and offered his signature shark grin. "Oh, and, you're totally 'bout to spill the beans on what you've been hidin' from us, buddy. No gettin' out of it!" He said, with only a little bit of vicious enthusiasm. Joker nodded, crouching down to carry Yoshizawa-san. Earlier thoughts popped into her head again, but she just as quickly pounded them back into mental dust. Besides...

While he was busy, Queen shared a glance with Skull, who immediately turned to her, too. She'd be the last to say Skull often displayed intelligence as a Phantom Thief, or, and the polite part of her was sorry to admit it, ever, but that didn't matter in this instance. He was the spiritual heart of the Thieves, and like Ann he just had that sixth sense in the team that could pick up a problem brewing. In that moment, his brown eyes behind the ornate skull mask shared with hers the same thought: _Something is wrong with Ren._

The group made haste and began walking out of the Palace, maintaining light conversation and ignoring the awkward atmosphere hanging above them. Oh, they hid it well behind the thin veneer of questioning, confused teammates, but Dr. Maruki was only being barely subtle when he said what he did. Obviously, no one was going to breach such a thing now when there were more pressing matters on their plate. Oh no, otherwise she'd be speeding them along while simultaneously planning how to return Ren to her apartment as fast as possible to get it out of him.

Unfortunately, as she was walking, she only barely hid the shock that hit her system when she realized that taking Ren home tonight was... a bad idea, to say the least. And that was when it hit her. Really. Her father... was gone again. Her mouth opened slightly, a sudden ache in her chest. There wouldn't be a pair of warm eyes and a husky, familiar voice there to welcome or be welcomed home. Ever again... Queen kept her strides confident and steady as they left the Palace uncontested, but Makoto could only barely take comfort in that. The little girl with the red braid, with a bounce in her step and looking upon the world and her family, so cheerfully, and with such basic joy, regressed back to a fleeting memory of an old her.

Was she upset that this was real, despite her earlier posturing...? She didn't know.

However, the mature part of her countered. She firmed her strides. She still had everyone else. They were still here, back, and not going anywhere. The comfort surrounding her, the knowledge that this team of battle-hardened friends was still here, was at least some security.

She had so much to think about. The technical matters... and the matters of the heart.

She looked back up at her lead, thankful for the iron mask hiding the sorrow in her eyes. He marched on with the rest of them, Yoshizawa-san's head lazily resting on his shoulder, answering Futaba's inquiries as she raced around him like a goblin(she was using that term correctly, right?) with a practiced ease. A practiced ease wholly different from his usual grace. He didn't ease up quite as much at the end of a mission, didn't express his earlier relief at having them back. It just didn't feel like him, not exactly. But Futaba didn't say anything. Now wasn't the time.

Makoto had a lot on her plate to chew, and things were only about to get more complicated. But, once things became calm again, and even if they didn't, she was going to do something about him. At that moment, Makoto steeled herself for what was to come. Within the Palace, and what came out of it. It stung, truly, distinguishing between the distorted, artificial memories of her father, and the ones in reality. She would have to cope with that, with the weak version of herself, all over again. For now, she had another very alive, very torn, and very important man she needed to make peace with. For what has happened... and what will happen. But, she thought with mature amusement, that was the price she had to pay for those she loved. And perhaps that love was painful... Oh, she knew it could, would, be.

Makoto frowned, closing her eyes. "I guess I'll just have to take that leap..." She whispered. She opened them back up and looked to the front, at him. She made a small hum, but didn't say anything. He turned his head, only one eye visible in her view. He didn't say anything back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I simultaneously hate and am grateful to myself. This is kind of unacceptable imo, but otherwise, I'm just happy to have finished this chapter. I had worked up whether or not I wanted to bother splitting the content up even further, but Maruki took up all my draft! It's way too easy to fall into the trap of fleshing the dialogue and text to perfection, instead of actually focusing on the crap that matters!
> 
> I wanted to give Maruki his dues and the PTs a shot to respond and digest during this moment. It felt like too good of an opportunity to only just use this scene to show off Ren's growing uncertainty. Otherwise, on that part, I think I did pretty good. Of course, the true test is about to come up.
> 
> This was the first time I've ever written a group-wide interaction, but it does feel still slightly stifled because only a few people actually dominated this scene. Then again, it makes sense for the Thieves to be the reactors here, and it would draw away from the main points to give every one of them a spotlight moment. Hopefully they still felt present and engaged!
> 
> Actual, for real this time, Ren/Makoto stuff next chapter! And here's hoping it doesn't balloon into 15K words just so I can make a point. Hmm... Haha, no.

**Author's Note:**

> Hmm, this crossed my mind after having seen all other Third Awakening scenes and considered Ren's thought process during all of this. I wanted to use this story as an opportunity to explore it a bit, while simultaneously giving an audience something new to enjoy. And who better to open up such a wound than your own girlfriend!
> 
> The Phantom Thieves and their happiest desires... I hope we can see more stories that explore this topic a little bit more. Mine is an amateurish attempt, but hopefully it provides you all something.
> 
> Also, for those who were paying attention to the dates, yes. Ren did confront Makoto last on January 8th, the last day before Maruki's due date! She's usually the first team member people will encounter, I imagine, but in my playthrough I actually saved her for last! XD
> 
> Think of it as Ren being most hesitant to approach her. Seeing her everyday passing through the train station, but not bringing himself to confront her until the last minute. Poor Ren.


End file.
